Recently, I've had talks with both my girlfriends, as well as a bunch of guys. I came to a conclusion that when it comes to marriage, both have an exact opposite opinion on the topic. It seems that it really lies in both ends of the spectrum.
For guys, they always have this inkling that they have yet to achieve something in their life. As such, talks of marriage are being shelved and when asked, they'll ask to wait for 3-5 years. They believe that this time-frame is enough to achieve everything they want in their lives and careers. On the other hand, the girls are not willing to wait that minumum of 3 years. Why? They don't think they should hang on to a relationship, only to resent the guy after a year or so, because he is holding them back from the kind of life that they so desire.
So what happens next? A quarrel will ensue it will seem that the girls are pressuring them to settle down and the guys are nor ready to. That's not what a marriage is about. Marriage & family should never just another tick in the box. It should be something that both want and are ready for, not because of circumstances, being manipulated or pressured into it.
I found out that when guys think of marriage (which they think they will eventually end up doing one day), is a sort of entrapment, kind of like having kids will burden them for at least the next 20 years, a change in lifestyle (not being able to hang out with the guys as much, no more poker nights, no more "guys" nights out); all of which they are not ready or prepared for at all.
Girls, on the other hand, equate marriage to love that is happy, fulfilling and powerful. They think of giving (as well as receiving) an unparalleled feeling of comfort, happiness and a promise for the future together. A companion and partner who will always be there for them through everything, just as how they will be there for their partners. Being each others' ICE (in case of emergency) points of contacts.
Marriage has got to feel right and it's not only about being with the right person, but also meeting that right person at the right time.
As great a guy/girl that person may be, if either one is not ready to commit, then they are just not right for each other. Fret not, though, as all is not lost. One day, that right person will come at the right time. Until then, we should all reflect on our relationships and decide whether the person we are with is the right person who had come at the right time in our lives. x
No comments:
Post a Comment